a Rainbow is Only a Reflection of Light
by Karesu-Gaara-Mikosu
Summary: ﻿Don’t try to catch the rainbow, because it’s only a reflection of light. His eyes started to water as he read the words. YukiShu. RyuShu. OneShot. Angst. COMPLETE.


Story: a Rainbow Is Only a Reflection of Light

By: Karesu Gaara Mikosu

Pairings: YukiShu, RyuShu

Warnings: Angst, very slight spoilers for Gravi EX

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

A/n: I was in a slump for writing, and this kind of cured it a little bit. I love Yuki, don't get my wrong, I just think Ryuichi would take better care of him then Yuki does. In my mind I think all three of them should get over it and have a threesome...

[Start of the Story

I want you to hate me because its better than your love. I don't deserve your love- so I always push you away. In my own way I don't think I could live without you- but I know you could easily live without me. So I might be being a bit hard on myself about all of this, but it's true. You have someone else to love you, you don't even need me around anymore.

I clung to him in that day, wanting him to just leave us alone because he was right- so right. Without my looks I had nothing, nothing to keep you with me. You are pure sunshine and gold and for some reason you are in love with me.

I have been so selfish, so stupid, to think that no matter how badly I treated you- you would never stray from me. So many times you could have left, so many times you could have walked away from me and I wouldn't have cared, hiding behind that emotionless mask that I have always had over my eyes. But now... now I would miss you if you left. Your chatter, your singing, everything.

I want to think that you were just a toy, someone that I would get tired of and kick you out a final time- but instead I fell in love. I have been harsh, asking you why you haven't just left already, you had him didn't you?

I could hear the door opening and I expected the normal racket, the noise and jovial noise as you told me about your day- but it never came. Your eyes were down on the ground and as you sat on the couch next to me, I took a drag of my fag, wondering what was going on.

In my heart I knew what was going on, but a better part of my mind didn't want to think about that. I had hoped you had just lost your voice again, you had just a bad day, I didn't want to think about what I had been dreading since he told you that he loved you.

"Yuki..." My name passed your lips, but not like it normally did, this time it was broken and shaken. I didn't say anything, there wasn't anything to say right now, so I waited for you to continue. ".. You asked my why I hadn't left you..." my chest tightened, there was a slight hope "... and I thought about it. I overlook how mean you are because well..."

There was a long silence after that, you didn't continue. I almost felt like crying- but I am Eiri Yuki and I don't cry.

"...I can't say that I deserve this. You are so mean, and I can no longer look past it! He saw me today..." I glared at the pink haired boy when he said that, you didn't need to elaborate on who 'he' was "... he promised me he would never hurt me like you do! He said he loved me more then you ever had!" tears ran down your cheeks.

I moved to wipe them away but you slapped my hand to the side. "No! You don't get to do that anymore!" you stood up, glaring at me with violet eyes. "You don't get to comfort me, because you are the one that hurt me! He's right, you are just a prick that I don't even have a good reason to come back to anymore! Someone has promised me love Yuki, and it sure as well wasn't you!"

Your face is red, tears still falling down your cheeks. I still didn't say anything.

"I HATE YOU! I hate the fact that I am in LOVE with you! Why did I fall for someone with a frozen heart? If you want to dwell in the past, I will no longer get in your way. I don't want to see you again- because I now have someone that will treat me like a real person, Yuki. I have someone to truly give my heart to."

I sat there as you stormed into our bedroom grabbing your clothing and other belongings and stuffed them into a backpack you had- one I had overlooked. I got up from the couch and leaned against the wall asyou walked to the front door, looking back at me. I know you are waiting for something, anything, to give you a reason to stay. I couldn't find the words- nothing I said seemed good enough.

You started crying again, "...bastard."

That was the last thing you said before walking out and slamming the door behind him. I knew this was going to happen- I had known all along. I couldn't find it in my heart to blame him, because I had pushed him away. Maybe now he would be finally happy.

Walking back to the couch I sat down and lit another cigarette, breathing in deep and trying to stop my own tears. I didn't quite make it as a few escaped my eyes. Putting out the stick I curled up on the couch and started to really cry now, tears flowing down my face.

"...Shuichi..."

It was the first thing I had said in hours, and it seemed to consume my empty apartment, looming over me like a shadow. How was I going to deal with this? How would I live without him here to bother me? Why had I fallen in love...

With all those questions in mind I got up and walked to my study, promptly closing the door and starting up my laptop.

[Two Months Later

I was so much happier now, I had someone who loved me- actually loved me. We had gone on a tour with Nittle Grasper, because Ryuichi refused to go on tour without me now, and Tohma had denied Bad Luck getting out of work from my absence

Sitting back in our current hotel room I was listening to music, thanking whoever invented portable music player. I jumped slightly when someone hugged me from the back, but giggled when I realized it was my lover.

"Ryu-chan, warn me next time." I laughed, taking out one my earbuds as I leaned so I could kiss him. Our lips met briefly before he let go of me while smiling.

"Sorry Shuichi, no na da!" I laughed at his antics. He still acted like a little kid most of the time but was actually a really deep person, and had opened up to more since we had started going out.

"Its fine. Hey what do you have there?" I asked, looking at a package in my lovers hand.

"Oh this? K asked me to give it to you, it's a present from someone I guess." he shrugged and handed the brown paper wrapped gift to me. I looked at the package but there was no return address on it, strange.

"Well I have to go do sound-check, I will come right back when I am done, kay?" he asked, kissing my lips tenderly before disappearing from the room. I smiled after him but when back to the item I had.

Ripping the paper a book slid down onto my lap. I gasped when I read the title and whom it was from. The front of the book read: Star Crossed a novel by Eiri Yuki. My hand trembled as I picked up the novel. I silently opened it, wondering if there was some kind of sick message to this, or it was his way of saying he was alright.

Something caught my eye about the dedication page. The fact that their WAS a dedication page threw me for a loop, Yuki had never once dedicated his books to anyone. Sure he had a 'thank you' blurb that thanked the publisher and stuff, but never a dedication. As I read over the words my eyes started to water.

_I dedicate this book to the angel of music. The angel had belonged to me, but then flew away. I wish you luck angel, no matter you have ended up landing. Don't try to catch the rainbow, because it's only a reflection of light. _

Pushing the book to the floor I ran to the hotel bed and started shivering, crying, and letting out every pent up emotion I had since I had left. This is how Ryuichi found me- crying my heart out for someone that I would never again have.


End file.
